One of These Things Isn’t Like the Others…

If you have been reading this blog any length of time you know I hate internet marketing hype. If you know me personally I am one of “those people” that like facts to match implied results and words to actually be used as defined. Pretty much the antithesis of advertising in general. A recent Facebook group popped up hitting every anti-hype nerve I have.
Mercenary, school and concessions. Which word doesn’t belong? Schools and concessions describe maybe athletic events, or a course in food service. Hmmm, must be mercenary and the real definition is:

1. (of a person or their behavior) primarily concerned with making money at the expense of ethics.
2. a professional soldier hired to serve in a foreign army.

 
Perhaps someone, anyone, can explain the logic of naming a group after a gun toting, unethical person and then associate it with SCHOOLS and attempting to gain school concession contracts. Not real bright.
One picture on the group page shows a table with 13 stacks of money. Five stacks of 5-dollar bills, 7 stacks of 20-dollar bills and one that looks like a stack of 10’s. The piles are loosely stacked giving them an inflated height, so it is difficult to know exactly how much money is pictured. One cannot see the entire stack, so they could all actually be 1-dollar bills underneath. Since the definition of mercenary indicates the founder identifies with unethical practices who knows how much is really there. I will attempt to guess. I have been counting money for 40 years and never, ever stacked money is such a hap-hazard manner, let alone photograph and then post it on a public page. This only invites a thief and puts you and your business at risk. Getting back to the picture, the stacks should be all turned the same direction, straight and compressed. I’ll assume this is a photo-op to impress the viewer. (If you don’t understand why your bills must be faced email me, I’ll explain and maybe save you some embarrassment at the bank when you pass ‘accidently’ counterfeit bills in your deposit.)
The stacks of 5’s are in the foreground and appear to taller than the stacks of 20’s. I’ll assume the stacks are in a counted stack ready to be bundled. Generally, stacks are counted to 50 bills and banded. Thus the 5’s stacks should equal $250. The 20’s stacks appear shorter and could be banded in 25 count stacks for a total of $500. The ten stack is hard to see so I assume it is also a 25-count stack for $250 total. Thus, the picture shows, at minimum, a total of $5000 with this caption:

If you want money like this after a Friday night High School football game let me know! Our company can take 1 more client. We specialize in helping you get the contracts to High Schools and youth sporting parks!
 
My questions are:

• How much of that pile is for sales tax? You are paying them, right?
• How much of that is to restock your supplies for the next game?
• How much for labor, licenses, and other normal operating expenses?
• How much is for income and FICA taxes? No one cares about the GROSS pay on a check it is the NET you can spend.
• How much is for the school? Because if you are not donating a sizable chunk back to the school you have effectively increased the need for kids to have yet another fund raiser program shoved down parents’ throats. I know in my area the very first day of school has more fund raiser paperwork sent home than actual educational paper work.
• Why advertise if you really have only room for “1 more client”? Wouldn’t your previous clients provide sufficient word of mouth to gain 1 more client without any action on your part? Isn’t your product good enough for 1 more client all on its own? I hate businesses creating a false sense of scarcity.

You really want to make money that benefits both you and the school? Contact the school board and propose using the high schools’ hospitality or business program students as the workers for school athletic events, you for a fee, of course, teach operations at the events and rent cooking equipment for the season. You get paid, the school makes more money, the students get practical experience in business and you are free to duplicate this program at as many schools as you can equip. The end result is you will make MORE money for LESS personal effort over the course of the season.
How do you do this or even vend in the traditional sense without having to seek unethical assistance? Follow these steps (assuming you already have a viable food vending business):
 

• Go to the school’s administrative website or the youth group page and search for vendor or contract supplier requirements.
• Make sure you meet the listed requirements
• Set up a meeting with the decision maker for your school system or youth program.
• Dress like a business person.
• Be early to the meeting
• Bring a portfolio containing pictures of your cart, tent or trailer in operation
• Pictures of your happy guests being served and eating your food,
• Pictures of your food
• Copy of your proposed menu with prices
• Copies of all required licenses
• Insurance coverage
• Health inspections
• Food management certifications
• Mock ups of social media posts and ad copy with the school function or youth activity listed prominently
• Demonstrate your concession stand presence “completes” the sporting event experience for the fans helping to drive attendance and increase revenue for the school or city
• A chart showing the potential income for the school or group based on your projected sales
• Leave a one-page summary of your proposal with all ad copy mock ups, your business card and set up a follow up meeting to close the deal with contracts.
• If given a “no” ask, “What can I do that will make you have to say yes?” And if you can afford to do it to seal the deal, then do it. Continue to follow up until given a “yes”
• Make sure the value to the school, city and the attending fans and parents is clear in your presentation and creates a “win – win” for all involved

All it takes is a strong presentation with a fair value proposition and you will get the deal. UNLESS you have a criminal background, or on a sexual predator list or cannot pass a drug test, then no one can help you get a gig involving schools or youth programs. Darn, the mercenary guy kind of left that part out. Most state boards of education have rules for their vendors and vendor employees and no one gets around those. Does not matter if you become an “Unethical Advisory Group” client or not, you simply aren’t getting approved.
Confused or unsure on how to get the contracts and be successful? Email me, I’ll help for free. I can take all the clients that need help, no pretend scarcity, ever. 

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